Any type of psychological therapy is extremely emotional to take part in. Over the years my EMDR supervision has helped me work through this.
Have you ever had that feeling when you are about to go into an EMDR session with a client and you notice that anxiety, that fear in the pit of your stomach? Or you might be in Phase 4 desensitisation work with a client whilst they are in floods of tears and feel that feeling? You may be recognising that the client is a little bit stuck in their processing and be unsure about what interweave to do and feel that feeling? Yes, does this sound familiar? Me too!!
People are often surprised when I share in EMDR Supervision that I too feel this way in therapy sessions. In my early years of working within EMDR I thought it was because I lacked confidence, I didn’t know the model completely or I hadn’t worked with a lot of clients using the model. I thought this was a bad thing. I wouldn’t often share these feelings, I would notice them, push them out the way and carry on regardless! Sound familiar?
I would definitely say that this feeling has decreased in intensity over the years, but it’s still there. Yes that is partly due to confidence in using the model more, attending trainings and seeing the improvements that people make. Also I have to say that a lot of my self care has helped me to think differently about these emotions, ACT (Acceptance and Committment Therapy) has helped me to sit with the feelings, understand the values I live by (I want to be a great therapist) and see if the feelings change. The work of Brenee Brown has been an inspiration but that is a topic for a whole other day.
The key for me is that it’s ok to feel these feelings, it doesn’t mean that I’m an awful therapist, that I don’t know what I’m doing. If anything it’s means I am connected to the emotional vulnerability of the clients I work with who make the brave step to work through their traumas in therapy. And do you know what, the day the feeling completely goes is the day when I should probably stop doing this work, I therefore simply notice the feeling and hope the day when it goes will never come because did I ever tell you, I love the job I do!
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